The Fry Up

The traditional English breakfast consists of eggs, sausage, British bacon, fried mushrooms, grilled tomatoes, baked beans, toast and some sort of hot caffeinated drink. Variations abound. You could fry the tomatoes, substitute black pudding for one of the other meat products, or, my personal favorite, at least linguistically, add on some "bubble and squeak," which sounds like it should involve strangely processed animal bits but is in fact just refried vegetables. British bacon is much like Canadian--back rather than belly--but either the British dig into some fattier cuts or their pigs sit around all day eating Twinkies and watching Jerry Springer. It is good.

Yes, you can feel your arteries hardening while eating this. Even the "lightly buttered" toast could be reused to grease a few French omelet pans. I would not recommend attempting to run immediately after polishing off a fry up. For that matter, one might want to avoid attempting to step over any particularly high curbs. But it's sustaining and can be quite a good value by London standards.

Prices of the full breakfast range from £3.95 in the urine-scented alleyway beside the Holborn tube station, to about £8 in the cozy restaurants near my home, and upwards of £20 in London's many posh hotels. For the record, the alleyway fry-up was every bit the culinary equal of the one served in my well-regarded local joint. I think the urine really brought out the flavor of the bacon.